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Beach Notes: 1/22/2020
Random musings.. I think that death often forces the still living to think about mortality and to ponder the vast questions of life. Or at least it does for me. For me, I have so many conflicting messages in my head - some put there by others so seem to have sprung fully formed from my own brain (but maybe they were consciously or subconsciously received from someone at some time).
Time is a struggle for me almost all the time. First of all, time is by its nature a finite resource. There are only 24 hours in a day and we all have an expiration date, though, we usually don't know when that is. So, everything we do or don't do is a choice to some degree. Granted sometimes those choices were made years ago and we are now living in those choices and so we may forget that it was a choice.
Conflict: Making good use of available time vs. the concept "we are human beings not human doings". What if I spend an hour or two watching an inane television show or flipping mindlessly through a social media site or playing some game on my phone or staring into space? I could have, should have, would have spent that time doing something "productive".
On a less esoteric level, for me, the issue is going out to shows vs. staying in and writing or listening to music that has been sent to me or... Never mind the almost nightly conflicts of what show to see out of many wonderful choices. I do better than I used to, but I do often feel some sense of failure or guilt over my choices. Especially, when certain friends' shows seem to always end up getting missed. It almost never a decision based on quality or worth. It can anything to location, time, my level of exhaustion, availability. It is just that sometimes, it feels like the same bands or people keep coming up on the wrong side of any one of those factors.
I remind myself that I am not obligated to do anything or to go anywhere, but the guilt/regret isn't really about obligation. It is about desire and relationships and... what else. I don't know.
Meanwhile, here I sit - into the third full week of 2020, with a ton of e-mails to review, a ton of story ideas to explore and research and write, a ton of music to listen to, an unfinished novel, a ton of great shows every single night, and I limited amount of energy to do anyone of those things - some of which is expended at a day job that demands attention and effort.
So, I can't answer why I went to this show but not that one, or why I went out this night but not that one or why I wrote about this album but not that one. I am not even sure if anyone is asking this questions other than me.
So, I DID go to The 5 Spot last night and spend somewhere around six hours hearing a ton of truly great music, catching up with some wonderful people, sharing bits of grief and stories about David Olney, laughing, talking, thinking... As for tonight, I don't know. There are things I want to do...
Meanwhile, I am not going to Folk Alliance - even though it was something I considered when the date and location were first announced. I would love to be there, AND I can't imagine my stress at all the things to be done if I were going. And, I am envious of people who can drop everything and go on a whim. But, those choices were made for me in the past, and for today, I don't know how to change them or even if I want to.
Beyond the doing and the choosing and the thinking and the guilt and the productivity and the idleness and the laziness and the need for escapism and the art and the commerce is the living. I am alive and I have work to do and I have rest that is needed and I have relationships to forge and others to cultivate, and I have only so much time and I waste so much time.
Welcome to my life on earth and as human.
Random musings.. I think that death often forces the still living to think about mortality and to ponder the vast questions of life. Or at least it does for me. For me, I have so many conflicting messages in my head - some put there by others so seem to have sprung fully formed from my own brain (but maybe they were consciously or subconsciously received from someone at some time).
Time is a struggle for me almost all the time. First of all, time is by its nature a finite resource. There are only 24 hours in a day and we all have an expiration date, though, we usually don't know when that is. So, everything we do or don't do is a choice to some degree. Granted sometimes those choices were made years ago and we are now living in those choices and so we may forget that it was a choice.
Conflict: Making good use of available time vs. the concept "we are human beings not human doings". What if I spend an hour or two watching an inane television show or flipping mindlessly through a social media site or playing some game on my phone or staring into space? I could have, should have, would have spent that time doing something "productive".
On a less esoteric level, for me, the issue is going out to shows vs. staying in and writing or listening to music that has been sent to me or... Never mind the almost nightly conflicts of what show to see out of many wonderful choices. I do better than I used to, but I do often feel some sense of failure or guilt over my choices. Especially, when certain friends' shows seem to always end up getting missed. It almost never a decision based on quality or worth. It can anything to location, time, my level of exhaustion, availability. It is just that sometimes, it feels like the same bands or people keep coming up on the wrong side of any one of those factors.
I remind myself that I am not obligated to do anything or to go anywhere, but the guilt/regret isn't really about obligation. It is about desire and relationships and... what else. I don't know.
Meanwhile, here I sit - into the third full week of 2020, with a ton of e-mails to review, a ton of story ideas to explore and research and write, a ton of music to listen to, an unfinished novel, a ton of great shows every single night, and I limited amount of energy to do anyone of those things - some of which is expended at a day job that demands attention and effort.
So, I can't answer why I went to this show but not that one, or why I went out this night but not that one or why I wrote about this album but not that one. I am not even sure if anyone is asking this questions other than me.
So, I DID go to The 5 Spot last night and spend somewhere around six hours hearing a ton of truly great music, catching up with some wonderful people, sharing bits of grief and stories about David Olney, laughing, talking, thinking... As for tonight, I don't know. There are things I want to do...
Meanwhile, I am not going to Folk Alliance - even though it was something I considered when the date and location were first announced. I would love to be there, AND I can't imagine my stress at all the things to be done if I were going. And, I am envious of people who can drop everything and go on a whim. But, those choices were made for me in the past, and for today, I don't know how to change them or even if I want to.
Beyond the doing and the choosing and the thinking and the guilt and the productivity and the idleness and the laziness and the need for escapism and the art and the commerce is the living. I am alive and I have work to do and I have rest that is needed and I have relationships to forge and others to cultivate, and I have only so much time and I waste so much time.
Welcome to my life on earth and as human.
Featured Friday Playlist
WEDNESDAY SHUFFLE:
"Such a Mess" by Silver Lake 66 (from Ragged Heart)
A favorite from 2019
"If You Only Knew" by Tiffany Huggins Grant (from Jonquil Child)
An incredible singer and songwriter from Madison, Tennessee by way of Smyrna, Georgia."Sorry" by Speedbuggy USA (from Kick Out the Twang)
"Cause Cheap is How I Feel" by Cowboy Junkies (from Live at the Belly Up)
"Trendy, Trendy" by Auld (from Mainstream Music)
"Cherry Red Blues" by Dave Alvin and Phil Alvin (from Lost Time)
Dave Alvin's voice gets me every time.
"Got Away" by Rebecca Loebe (from Give Up Your Ghosts)
"Sax and Violins" by Talking Heads (from Until the End of the World - Motion Picture Soundtrack)
"Sherry Darling (Live)" by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (from 2016/01/19 Chicago, IL)
VIDEO PLAYLIST
Recent and Upcoming Releases:
Recent:
11/20 Brock Zeman - Hey Tom (a collection of Tom House Songs) (LP)
12/? - Lumiere Tales - Lunarium (LP)
12/1 - Inkraktare - We Are Not Really Here (LP)
12/2 - Terry Klein - Live at KOOP (LP)
12/6 - Beauty in Chaos & Wayne Hussey (The Mission) - "The Delicate Balance of All Things" (single)
12/6 - Beat Hotel - "Feel It" (single)
12/29 - Them Jones - "The Woman is a Poor Child" (single)
12/31 - Blackfoot Gypsies - Live at The Basement (LP)
1/06 - Francesco Mariano - "Room 107" (single)
1/08 - Luis Mojica- Shaman Food (LP)
1/10 - Palm Ghosts - "Wide Awake and Waiting" (single)
1/10 - Mary Bragg and Drivin' N Cryin' - "Don't Walk Away" (cover) (single)
1/10 - Them Airs - "Food Pyramid" (single)
1/10 - Lilly Hiatt - "Brightest Star" (single)
1/10 - Strange Majik - "Lo-Fi Hi" (single)
1/10 - Dean Fields - "Armadillo" (single)
1/10- Chicago Farmer - "All in One Place" (single)
1/10 - Surrija - "Nothing Love" (single)
1/10 - RB Morris - Going Back to the Sky (LP)
1/10 - Guided By Voices - "Volcano" (single)
1/10 - Sunshine Boys - "Infinity Girl" (single)
1/11 - Dolour (Shane Tutmarc) - "The Snake Eye" (single)
1/12 - Francesco Mariano - "Nine Lives" (single)
1/13 - Lauren Anderson - "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" (cover) (single)
1/14 - Drive-By Truckers - "Thoughts and Prayers" (single)
1/16 - Margo Price - Stone Me (single)
1/17 - Mark Hummel - Wayback Machine (LP)
1/17 - Jonny Polonsky - "The Weeping Souls" (single)
1/17 - Them Airs - Union Suit XL (LP)
1/17 - Innocence Mission - See You Tomorrow (LP)
1/17 - David Dondero - The Filter Bubble Blues (LP)
1/17 - MONO INC. - "Warriors" (single)
1/19 - Merrill Beach - "Green"/"Marimba" (single)
This Week:
1/21 - Broads and Milly Hirst - "Happisburgh" (single)
1/22 - Davis Raines - Turquoise and Silver (LP)
1/24 - Kaley Nicole - Kaley Nicole (LP)
1/24 - Mrs. Henry - Live at the Casbah (LP)
1/24 - Aeronautical Pioneer - "Hop High" (single)
1/24 - Three Rivers Project - Confluence (LP)
1/24 - MONO INC. - The Book of Fire (LP)
1/24 - Dispel - Lore (LP)
Upcoming:
1/28 - Motihari Brigade - Power from Below (LP)
1/31 - Eric Brace and Last Train Home - Daytime Highs and Overnight Lows (album)
1/31 - Nick Pagliari - Midway (LP)
1/31 - Black Paisley - "Dreams" (single)
1/31 - Jolie Holland - Esconidida (Vinyl Reissue) (LP)
1/31 - John Dennis - Mortal Flames (LP)
1/31 - Emma Hill - How Could I Have Been So Wrong (EP)
1/31 - Ryab Sobb and the Dead Mall - Concrete Feelings (LP)
1/31 - Alexander Hacke (Einsturzende Neubauten) + Danielle de Picciotto (Crime and The City Solution) - The Current (LP)
1/31 - Drive-By Truckers - The Unraveling (LP)
2/01 - Glenn Jones - Ready for the Good Times (LP)
2/02 - Karabas Barabas - Degenerate National Anthem (LP)
2/07 - Palm Ghosts - Wide Awake and Waiting (EP)
2/07 - Emily Zuzik - "Trouble" (single)
2/07 - Chicago Farmer - Flyover Country (LP)
2/07 - Surrija - "Barcelona" (single)
2/07 - The Flyin' A's - No Holds Barred (LP)
2/07 - Harry Stafford - "She Just Blew Me Away" (single)
2/21 - Sarah Morris - All Mine (LP)
2/21 - Kindergarten - Iphigenia (Reissue) (LP)
2/21 - Hot Club of L.A.- Cinema Swing (LP)
2/21 - MUUK - Balbuceo (LP)
2/21 - Aaron Beckum - Songs from a Triangle Room (EP)
2/21 - Every 13 Days - Étant Donnés (Reissue) (LP)
2/21 - Seablight - High-Rise Mannequins (EP)
2/28 - Kristen Englenz - Ingenue (LP)
2/28 - Close Lobsters - Post Neo Anti... (LP)
3/?? - Strange Majik - 20/20 (LP)
3/06 - Surrija - "Sylvette" (single)\
3/06 - Dean Fields - While the Baby Was Sleeping (LP)
3/06 - Broads and Milly Hirst - Ollust (LP)
3/13 - The Flatmates - The Flatmates (LP)
3/27 - Lilly Hiatt - Walking Proof (LP)
4/03 - Surrija - Surrija (LP)
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